dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
