i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
