You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I want you more than these girls want KFC
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
