You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
