Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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