Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Only a mothe r could love this liver
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I haven't been this sober since birth.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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