she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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