She's JV to your varsity
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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