I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
last night I used snow as a chaser
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