Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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