I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Randomize
