Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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