i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Randomize
