She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
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