don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
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