I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize