I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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