Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
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