do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
We just shotgunned beers for America
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
