the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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