Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
did i walk over a car last night?
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
