I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize