I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Randomize
