Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
