Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize