Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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