Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
