i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
