do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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