He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
