Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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