The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
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