so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Randomize