i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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