If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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