Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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