no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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