THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
