she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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