gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
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