Swine flu. Run for my life!
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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