Cold hands, warm shart.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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