Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
