talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Randomize
