i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I met the friendliest cop last night
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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