Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize