what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
