Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
