i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Randomize
