Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
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You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
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I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
They took my balls.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
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