You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
