last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
