They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Randomize
