why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
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