Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
How external is "for external use only"?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
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