She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
