I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I will pee on everything he values.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
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