would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
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