is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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