The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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