yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
