if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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