I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
