these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
