pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
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