sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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