she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
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laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
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I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
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