all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
