she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
