Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
