We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
