I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
