At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize