If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
